The Bliss of Being Alone

A few weeks ago, my mother-in-law broke her foot.  Oh, she didn't think she broke it; after all, it didn't hurt that badly.  When she finally took herself to the doctor - a week later - turns out she broke it in two spots.  That means surgery, and surgery means stay off of it for two months.  And that means go live with son and his wife for those two months.

Before you get it wrong, let me assure you: I love my mother-in-law.  She's a more-than-decent cook, she insists on doing housework (though how she's going to do that and stay off her foot, I don't know), and she has great taste in clothes, jewelry, bags, and kitchenware (I love Christmas, yes I do!).  And, when she's here, she keeps my husband out from underfoot.  So really, she's welcome to stay with us anytime.

She's not here yet.  My husband left yesterday so he could be with her (she lives a good 13 hours away) during her surgery and a few days after.  Then he'll return with her and we'll commence enforcing the doctor's orders to stay off of it!  For that week or so, though, I am blissfully alone.

We've been married 12-1/2 years, 13 in August.  My husband is a soundie; that is, he must be surrounded with sound.  It's not unusual for him to be watching TV, listening to talk radio, playing a computer game, and talking with our kids (online, of course), all at the same time.  He can think about 87 things at once and reach 87 separate conclusions, without getting mixed up as to what conclusion goes with what thought.  He is an uber-multi-tasker, and it drives me nuts.  I'm the type who, if there is more than one person talking to me, it all mushes together in my brain and I don't know who said what.  If I try to listen to a phone caller and take a message at the same time, it's likely to get muddled and lost in translation.  For crying out loud, I can't even remember to not run the dryer and use the stove at the same time (blows every circuit in the house), so I have signs posted all over to remind me, and sometimes even that doesn't work.  I can barely do one task at a time, much less think about several.  Yes, it's one thing at a time for me, and please, keep the racket down while I try to do it!

Lately, I've been feeling overwhelmed with my life.  I work full time, have a part time clinical therapy internship, and go to school at night.  I have a full home and church life, as well as volunteer activities in our community.  On top of all that, God has led me down a road of new discoveries regarding Himself, discoveries that have challenged what I was taught to believe and constantly bring me face-to-face with countless areas of ignorance, areas where I once thought myself wise.  There's just too much going on! 

One of my spiritual teachers asked why he hadn't heard from me recently; all I could say was, "I'm stuck with some of this stuff, I'm incredibly busy, and I think I just need time to listen to God and let it all settle in."
And here I am, with a whole week to myself.  At first, I was disappointed that I couldn't take enough time off to travel with my husband.  But now I'm seeing that God, in His grace and mercy, has given me a whole chunk of time to be alone with Him.  School will be out for a few weeks, and I have a few days off of work. (It's amazing how easy it is to get time off when you tell your boss, "My mother-in-law is coming...!)  The housecleaning won't take up the whole time, so I'm getting exactly what I asked for: the bliss of being alone.  The silence of solitude.  Right when I need it the most, God has met the longing of my heart.

I'm just sorry Mom had to break her foot for this to happen... .